Toxic femininity
Most women think they’re easy to get along with. We think if men would just shape up, everything would be fine.
Toxic masculinity is the answer to every problem.
After years of dating stories and observations, I’m not so sure anymore. I think women spend a good chunk of their dating years just as confused and bewildered as their male counterparts.
It’s not always the guy’s fault. Sometimes women suffer from toxic femininity, the other side of the dating mirror.
Not all women are born with an innate talent for relationships. They don’t arrive with dating firmware. Sometimes it’s the woman who needs work. She might be vain or immature. She might be carrying baggage. Any problem a guy can drag into a relationship, she can too. And yet, she might spend half her life blaming men for her problems, because she’s highly attractive and successful. She might think she’s two pounds and one facial peel away from total perfection, flawed or damaged in ways that only make her more endearing, like all the movies she watches. She might anticipate a personal transformation, but it’s only slight.
Here’s a handful of accounts of what it’s like to date women like this, followed by some discussion of why it all matters:
“She was immune to compliments.”
One guy I know landed his dream girl, but it didn’t last long. She seemed to enjoy making him feel insecure.
Even his compliments weren’t good enough.
One day he complimented her eyes. Not just their color, their shape. They were in bed after dating for a couple of weeks. He just happened to notice them and thought he’d say something sweet.
She sighed. “Yeah, everyone tells me that.” Then she stared at him, like she was waiting for him to do better. They broke up a few weeks later. She said he wasn’t ready for a mature relationship.
This woman had been through some of her own tough relationships. She’d been dumped by rich, successful CEO types who used her for sex but never quite felt she was good enough to enter their social world. She was making the mistake of trying to exorcise her own relationship trauma by enacting it on someone else, otherwise known as baggage.
“She talked to her ex-boyfriend every day for six months.”
Another guy I know started dating a college friend later in his 20s. They’d always had a crush on each other. Serendipity brought them to the same city. He was in grad school. She was floating after a bad breakup with an emotionally abusive jerk.
Their relationship felt healthy and intuitive at first. They both loved reading and the great outdoors. She seemed drama free.
Then one day she confessed.
“So I’ve got to tell you something,” she began. “Promise you won’t get upset.” She explained she’d been talking to her emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend for months, every single afternoon, while he was in class or teaching. Even worse, she hadn’t even mentioned him.
They’d been dating for almost a year.
She was letting her ex think she was single and available.
She was keeping her options open. After all, the ex was almost done with med school and was still incredibly fit.
To his credit, my friend didn’t get upset. He tried to figure out what the ex-boyfriend was providing that he wasn’t. She promised to stop. She promised to commit. Of course, the ex-boyfriend found out about it all and flew down to see her. That’s when she decided it was too stressful to deal with. A few days later, she dumped them both.
“She was a serial flirter.”
This one couple, I met toward the end of college. We stayed in the same city and became a fixture of the same social groups. Boy, did she treat him like trash. They were both extroverts. They liked throwing parties. They liked holding court at bars.
She liked male attention on the side.
Sometimes it’s not that hard to see the guy’s angle when tensions escalate. She would break away from him at large gatherings, often ensconcing herself in prolonged conversations with random men. Some nights she spent so long flirting with other guys, it ruined their plans.
She was practically the only woman on earth to have a boyfriend who enjoyed dancing, and she burned it down to the ground. Anytime they went to a club, she would promise to meet him on the dance floor. Fifteen minutes later, he would find her trying to get guys to buy her drinks. She would pretend she was single, and then lie about it to him.
Their relationship ended a few days after he caught her spooning with his best friend at a Halloween party.
“She made fun of my whiskey dick.”
Another guy I know had no problem at all getting dates. Women used to hand him their phone numbers on the street. Strangers stopped him in grocery stores and tried to guess which celebrity he looked like.
You’d think a guy like that would have nothing to complain about, no weird stories. But he did struggle with erections, like a lot of guys. Coffee. Alcohol. A little stress. It didn’t take much. One of the handsomest, smartest men in the world had a pretty fragile boner.
Not everyone he dated was understanding.
One night he met a beautiful woman at a teachers’ conference. He wasn’t planning to hook up with anyone. As such, he didn’t think to pack his little blue pills. They went out to dinner, then wound up getting tipsy in her hotel room. That’s when she initiated sex.
When he couldn’t get it up, she started asking harsh homophobic questions about his sexuality. “Are you gay? Seriously, tell me.” It didn’t exactly help the mood. He got up to leave. On his way out she shouted, “Why are you so sensitive? I was just kidding!”
“She could make any conversation about my faults.”
Another guy started dating a girl he knew from the outdoor recreation shop where they used to work together. They spent a lot of their early dates hiking down trails and kayaking up rivers.
For a while, it felt like the ideal relationship. But it was hard to open up to her about anything. It felt like she was constantly vetting him.
If he ever mentioned an uncle with heart disease or a cousin with a drinking problem, she would tense up and start looking at him like he was contagious. One afternoon, she suggested he overhaul his diet.
He thought he was eating pretty healthy. He didn’t smoke. He rarely drank or ate red meat. He liked kale. That wasn’t good enough. She told him he had too many hereditary problems running in his family to ever veer from a strict vegan diet. She made it a deal breaker. So he broke the deal.
Toxic femininity in a nut shell.
All of these stories point toward the same problem.
Toxic femininity.
When a woman has internalized normative ways of thinking, they almost can’t help but sabotage their relationships. They can’t get enough male attention, so they engage in reckless flirtation.
They hyper-evaluate their potential mates.
They’re so terrified of winding up alone and miserable, they engage in destructive mating behaviors, like keeping multiple boyfriends stashed all over the country — and not telling them.
They think every problem, including sexual dysfunction, is a comment on their physical appearance. If they’re a little crazy, it’s because society has filled their heads with a bunch of conflicting nonsense.
It takes a while to sort through all that.
Mature men don’t dwell on their relationship fails.
The mature men I know don’t demonize their exes. (The same goes for women.) They talk about them in a relatively objective way. They try to reflect on what happened, and what responsibility they share. Sometimes they share very little, and sometimes it’s a lot.
Most of the time, the woman isn’t crazy. The guy isn’t abusive. There’s just a problem that escalates too quickly for them to identify and handle. The woman might be unreasonable. But there’s a logic to her behavior, maybe something she won’t see until years later.
This happens a lot when you’re younger, because you’re inexperienced. The guys I know don’t get hung up on how they got screwed over by women in their 20s. But they tell some funny stories.
They learn from their experiences. No matter what happens, or how crazy the girl seems, there’s always a lesson in human behavior.
Let’s stop the gendered bad love narratives.
The problem with our stories of heartbreak is that we often filter them through gender stereotypes. We create our own cliches, or perpetuate the myths we see in pop culture.
Women can be narcissists, just as often as men. The problem is that it’s hard to describe a woman as a clinical narcissist without stumbling into a bunch of gender stereotypes that obfuscate. When we dismiss everyone as a different kind of crazy ex, we shortchange our own growth.
Women screw up their relationships for a lot of the same reasons men do. It just looks a little different, because they’re often taught to behave in more passive aggressive ways. They’re taught to keep their true feelings and emotions hidden, just like men. They simply hide them with fake smiles passive strategies instead of threats and grunts.
Tell stories to reflect on your relationships.
Narrating your relationship history is good for you. It’s healthy to do on your own, in a journal. It’s healthy to talk about with your partner, and your friends, or a counselor. It’s not healthy to spread gossip.
It’s not healthy to craft a narrative where you’re always the victim of bad romance, regardless of your gender.
Not every guy who treats you poorly is a narcissistic psychopath. Not every ex-girlfriend is a selfie loving, jealousy fueled drama queen.
We’re more complicated than that.
Usually.
https://psiloveyou.xyz/what-its-like-to-date-women-according-to-men-i-know-224ecb769545
*****************************************************Only conservative values can save us
In the endless cycle of the Social Media doom scroll, I came across a meme not too long ago that illustrated the transition of man from strong-to-weak based on the times created by his predecessor.
We have been blessed to live in a time of extraordinary wealth, privilege, and living standards. We have taken for granted the things that even our grandparents would have found remarkable and landed in the world of the uppermost echelon of Maslow’s hierarchy – ‘self-actualisation’. The pro-level of human needs.
And so it is that our social media feeds explode with a plethora of hashtags championing any range of social causes with outrage and supposed impatience for change. These are the only virtues that hold currency in modern-day polite company as each of us, in turn, needs to scream louder about how benevolent and post-prejudice they have become. Surely these virtues would apply universally? All for one and one for all.
The depravity of fundamentalist religious sects in our world is nothing new and neither is the sewer of antisemitism that has exploded onto our streets in subsequent weeks.
What is indeed new is the accompanying shock of many in the West to the protests, along with the condemnations and hatred directed towards Israel and the Jewish people.
Moreover, the resulting shock emanates from a wilful failure to recognise the insidious elements buried deep within each and every single ‘Woke’ cause from #MeToo to #BLM to campaigners for the Voice.
The perpetually offended crowd of activists who make it their business to be outraged at every injustice – perceived or imaginary – almost always contain an overt or covert scent of antisemitism. No march down Swanston Street is complete without a Palestinian flag and the supposed intersection of the Palestinian struggle and whatever ‘struggle’ is fashionable on that particular day.
The grotesque acts perpetrated by a medieval death cult known as Hamas against innocent Israelis on October 7 should have served as a reminder to the so-called rich world that the hatreds and values previously considered to be confined to the pages of history are very much alive and well in our world in 2023.
As a Millennial who has only ever voted for conservative parties and values, I consider myself to be very much an oddity within my generation. When my peers would talk about the need for change and so-called social justice, my response was to apply a careful, judicious, and meticulous analysis to any such proposals and reverse the onus of proof on proponents of change to argue for their virtues rather than have me defend the status quo. The desire to conserve is the quintessential foundation of being a conservative.
The march of the Left has so enervated our institutions of the will to fight that we have the previously unthinkable situation unfolding in peace-loving Australia of Jews being barred from Circular Quay for fear of being assaulted because of their race. It’s almost as if the road to public hatred has been paved by the virtues of tolerance and justice.
We are in the fight of life for our way of life and recent events prove that no grassroots popular movement is coming to stand with us or take the knee in protest.
History’s eternal whipping boy shall once again confront the ghouls of evil with or without the enlightened fighters for social justice. Let’s hope that these dark times create enough strong men and women to weather this storm.
https://www.spectator.com.au/2023/11/only-conservative-values-can-save-us/
********************************************NBA great Andrew Bogut slams Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese for 'telling boys they are toxic simply because of how they are born'
Andrew Bogut has hit out at Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese for 'telling boys they are toxic' in a social media rant.
Bogut, 38, a former NBA championship winner with the Golden State Warriors, is a vocal critic of the government and regularly posts about 'woke' culture.
On Thursday, the Australian took to X, the social media platform formerly known as Twitter, to hit out at Albanese's pledge to 'help young men learn to have healthy, respectful relationships' with women.
He wrote: 'Dear @AlboMP 'I'll raise my two boys to be good people, without telling them they could be toxic because of their gender.
'I'll raise them without your Gov funded lackies telling them they are toxic simply because of how they are born. 'I will however raise them to know just how toxic Governments are.'
It is not the first time the basketball legend has discussed controversial subjects. Earlier this year, he was labelled 'transphobic' after claiming a 'biological male' will be playing in women's basketball this season.
'Word is NBL1 South Women will have a biological Male playing this upcoming season. Are you ok with sacrificing the sanctity of Female Sport in the name of 'inclusion'?,' he wrote.
'#GirlDads where are you? The hashtag is trendy until action is needed.'
It quickly ignited a storm of controversy, with some labelling him 'transphobic' and misogynistic, while others shared his outrage.
AFLW and NBL1 star, author Saraid Taylor, was scathing of Bogut, sarcastically thanking him for his 'concern', and labelling him 'transphobic' for his views.
'Hey, thank you so much for your concern about the sanctity of women's sport. It seems genuine,' she said, in a brutal takedown on his social media post.
'If you wouldn't mind using your energy to highlight legitimate issues women athletes face, instead of perpetuating transphobia, that would be so appreciated!
The furious star athlete then slammed Bogut for revealing what club he believed the 'biological male' played for - which was followed by a stream of outrage directed towards the club.
'This is so wildly irresponsible. It makes me sad reading the majority of comments you receive on your tweets,' said Taylor.
'Does it make you sad? Or do you enjoy the power you have to cultivate hatred in the world?'
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'PassportBro' TikTok hashtag sees American men detail attempts to find wife abroad after blasting feminism and 'impossible standards' sought by US women
American men using TikTok are sharing their attempts to find a wife abroad, as they detail their struggle to keep up with the 'impossible standards' of US women.
The men are known as 'Passport Bros', a viral movement which refers to men who travel overseas to find a more 'traditional'.
The movement has exploded in popularity, with the hashtag commanding more than 114.5 million views.
The rise has been linked to the working from home culture, which emerged during the pandemic, and which has allowed men to relocate to countries where they feel they might be more lucky in love.
Popular destinations for Passport Bros include Latin America, Asia and Eastern Europe.
The movement grew in popularity around the time Covid hit and has been linked to the explosion in home working which allows people to be digital nomads
The decision to move abroad to find a wife often relies on stereotypes about foreign women, including that they are more likely to be submissive or prioritize family, according to those involved in the movement.
One man, using the TikTok name PassportBros.Org talks about how he chooses to date women in Africa as, 'there is no helping women that believe in feminism hardcore' because they, 'really don't want a man'. 'If they did, they would submit,' he adds.
Another says that foreign women are 'easier to talk to, easier to be around with' because there is 'no tension between men and women overseas'.
Dr. James Braham, an education expert and researcher analyzing conceptual foundations of biology, told Fox News: 'Many passport bros express a sense of disconnection from the dating culture in their home country, which they perceive as being influenced by elements they find unappealing, such as excessive feminism, materialism, and a perceived lack of commitment and loyalty in relationships.'
He explained that Southeast Asian countries are often seen as places where women are raised with a strong sense of respect and commitment to family, while Eastern European women are perceived as embracing traditional gender roles.
Meanwhile, Latin America is seen as a place where 'warmth, passion, and family values' are prevalent.
The movement has seen an uptick since Covid-19 and the emergence of digital nomads.
Members of the movement believe that US women have 'insane' standards as a result of feminism and prefer to date what they perceive as traditional women
Three years after the pandemic, more than a third of people with remote jobs are now working from home, according to a new Pew Research Center.
While by 2025, an estimated 32.6 million Americans will be working remotely, equivalent to more than a fifth of workforce, according to Upwork.
And with US dollars stretching further in many overseas countries, scores of men are choosing
One member of the movement, Austin Abeyta, known as Digital Bromad on TikTok, explains how his relocation to Colombia has afforded him a much higher quality life.
He claims that America is 'the worst place in the world to date if you are a man' because salaries do not stretch as far as in the US, which he believes impacts his chances with the opposite sex.
Abeyta explains that a 'conflict of genders' in the US is making women 'much less approachable' and that it is 'so much easier to get girls overseas'.
The Passport Bros trend has been noted on dating site OKCupid which has seen a 50 per cent increase in cross-border connections, while 10 per cent more of users were in interracial relationships.
While on Tinder, 16 per cent of users are talking to people overseas. In 2020, the year the pandemic broke out, there was a seven fold increase in people using the app's passport feature.
A sense of adventure following months of lockdowns could also be behind many US men's decision to move abroad.
Hundreds of posts under the Passport Bros hashtag talk about the opportunity to experience a new culture through dating in a different country.
However, posts on Reddit forums from men curious to join the movement suggest their motivation may be more based on insecurity and a belief that foreign women are easier to approach.
One 28-year-old poster 'broken by so many rejections', said US women's standards are 'insane'.
He asked: 'Recently I've been hearing about passport bros in order to look for a wife across the seas. And I've been hearing stories that sound like a fantasy. Nobody or relationship is perfect, but like I can approach women without worrying?'
The movements origins has also been attributed by the Salt Lake Tribune to a 2011 film by Al Greeze called 'Frustrated', which explored a growing number of black men who travel abroad for love after becoming fed up with racism they receive at home in the US.
As one TikTok user, PassportBrotherhood, says in his video: 'They [foreign women] are just better.
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My other blogs. Main ones below:
http://dissectleft.blogspot.com (DISSECTING LEFTISM)
http://edwatch.blogspot.com (EDUCATION WATCH)
http://antigreen.blogspot.com (GREENIE WATCH)
http://australian-politics.blogspot.com (AUSTRALIAN POLITICS)
http://snorphty.blogspot.com/ (TONGUE-TIED)
http://jonjayray.com/blogall.html More blogs
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Kristina Pimenova, once said to be the most beautiful girl in the world. Note blue eyes and blonde hair
Bliss: What every woman wants: to feel safe and secure in the arms of her man. Robert Irwin and Rorie Buckey. See 
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