Monday, August 15, 2022

Delayed gratification is just not my style, and that’s OK

The story below is one womnan's story of how generalized her inability to delay gratification is. I found much the same in my research. I found that there is a consisent tendency to delay or not delay gratification. It is not a wholly consisent tendency. Some alleged indices of delay of gratification do not correlate with others so we have to be careful which index we use if we want to show a consistent tendency. But the consistent tendency does exist.

Parenthetically, I must say I share the lady's difficulties with toast

I was standing in my kitchen impatiently waiting for my toast to pop up. It had been in there for hours, and I was hungry.

“It’s been less than a minute!” my partner said. “Be patient!”

I was not patient. I hovered irritably for another few seconds before pushing the button and retrieving my toast.

“Wow,” my partner said. “You really are a one-marshmallow person.”

“Marshmallow shmarshmallow,” I told him, smothering my warm bread in butter and Vegemite and cramming it into my mouth.

Still, I knew what he meant. In 1972, psychologists at Stanford University gave groups of four-year-olds the choice of eating one marshmallow now, or two marshmallows later, to test their ability to delay gratification. I was not included in the study, but if I had been, I’d definitely have eaten the one marshmallow straight away. I am genetically incapable of waiting for anything. Two marshmallows might be better than one, but waiting for a marshmallow is far worse.

I know that being able to delay gratification is an important life skill, but it is a skill I have never mastered. Whenever I want anything, whether it is a marshmallow or an answer, it feels exceptionally urgent. I’m unsettled and agitated until the marshmallow is in my mouth, or the question answered.

The upside is that I get my needs met pretty quickly. The downside is that I make rushed decisions, and frequently annoy other people.

“Couldn’t this have waited until morning?” Mum will ask tiredly when I call her late at night to ask a pressing question. And yes, I probably could have waited until morning to ask whether my old bedspread is still in storage, or what her plans are for the holidays, but then I would have been thinking about it all night. It is so much easier to just get it done now.

“Why didn’t you wait for your appointment?” my hairdresser will ask, shaking her head as she contemplates my uneven fringe. I wanted to wait, I really did, but my hair was too long, and the scissors were in my bathroom, and a week felt like an eternity.

I am genetically incapable of waiting for anything. Two marshmallows might be better than one, but waiting for a marshmallow is far worse.

I am fascinated and awed by people who calmly wait for marshmallows. My elder daughter, for example, will realise she needs a new pair of shoes, and not buy them for weeks, or even months. She will think, “No biggie, I’ll get them later,” and park the desire in the back of her mind.

This is sensible and mature but it is not how my brain functions. My brain thinks, “I need a new pair of shoes.” Within minutes I am online, browsing through catalogues until I find a pair that will suffice. Often, I realise down the track that I would have found a better pair had I taken my time, but that is the price I must pay to eat my marshmallow now.

I have tried over the years to learn to delay gratification, with very minimal success. I once put a jumper on lay-by, way back in the days when Buy Now Pay Later was several inventions away. I paid a deposit, arranged to pay the jumper off in instalments, and left that beautiful jumper in the store.

It did not go well. I thought about the jumper all the way home, and in bed that night as I tried to sleep. I thought of how soft it was, how it would complement my jeans, how much I longed to wear it. The next day, I returned to the store, paid off the lay-by and never attempted that exercise again.

The Stanford marshmallow study found kids who could delay gratification grew into smarter, more competent adults than those who could not. (I know this because I skipped to the conclusion.)

Follow-up studies have questioned these claims and I’d like to add there are advantages to being a one-marshmallow person, which the Stanford team failed to note. For one thing, I’m extremely punctual. Whether I am meeting a friend for lunch, going to a movie or catching a flight, I will be there on time, if not early. I simply can’t wait a second longer than necessary.

For another, I never agonise over decisions. I like having issues resolved quickly, so if there are several options I’ll just pick one that looks okay and stick with that. I won’t spend hours debating which sofa to buy, or which holiday destination to visit, or which movie to watch. I’d rather have one good-enough option sorted now than a better option further down the track.

“A marshmallow in the hand is worth two in the bush!” I tell my partner.

He shakes his head. “You know that’s not actually true? Two marshmallows in the hand are worth twice as much!”

But I am not listening. I am too busy eating the froth off my cappuccino. It’s my favourite part! I always have it first.


According to Science, This Woman Has The World’s Most Beautiful Face

She may not be attractive in your opinion, given everything you know about her now. But in the eyes of science and new study reports, she has the world’s most beautiful face.

Why does she have the world’s most beautiful face?
The woman’s facial features are near-flawless, based on scientific standards. Researchers discovered years ago that people love symmetry and find it sexy.

“I would claim that symmetry represents order, and we crave order in this strange universe we find ourselves in. The search for symmetry, and the emotional pleasure we derive when we find it, must help us make sense of the world around us, just as we find satisfaction in the repetition of the seasons and the reliability of friendships. Symmetry is also economy. Symmetry is simplicity. Symmetry is elegance.” — physicist Alan Lightman in The Accidental Universe: The World You Thought You Knew.

A British cosmetic surgeon, Dr. Julian De Silva, did the most beautiful face study using images. He assessed the woman’s face with digital-mapping technology.

Her face was close to perfect with 91.85% symmetry. The research got done in 2016 using the Greek Golden Ratio of Beauty of 1.618. The technology measured the distance between her chin, nose, eyes, and lips. It then assessed her entire face to produce a score of 92%. Who is the woman?

It’s Amber Heard


Casual Sex = Failure

Sex, after consent, is rarely an act of emotion. It’s almost mechanical. It’s depressing for women. After casual sex the man can just walk away. The woman is left wondering, confused, lonely and unsure what such automated sex means, if anything. She expected more.

INSTITUTIONAL BRAINWASHING: Over multiple generations, young people are raised to believe sex is sinful.

Eventually men and women got sick of it. They wanted freedom at about the same time the pill became available.

Covid let up and people went sex crazed. There’s lots of sex in the 2020s but much of it is bad sex. Bad sex for men is, “oh well.” Bad sex for women is really bad. Aside from disappointment, wondering if I’m good enough, there can easily be real physical pain.

EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT: Lots of men still have trouble expressing emotions, let alone understand that women want an exchange of emotions.

THE CLOCK: Women are more invested in having a committed relationship than men. Many women want to have a family. Lots of men don’t. Women may consent to bad sex just in case he might be a keeper. When he reveals he’s not, that hurts.

IF ONLY MEN KNEW THIS. It isn’t taught anywhere. He may as well be from another planet.

Women have a brief time span to find a decent, loving man for a committed relationship. Many evaluate men not only as a loving man for her but a potential good father. They nurture the relationship toward those ends. That can be not fun for women at all.


Since the US and its churches don’t believe in sex ed, we have a population learning about sex from porn, free and on their phones. We stumble into marriage in spite of a 50% divorce rate. This whole scenario is out of control.


MARK LATHAM fears for Australia's future as entitled young sooks claim they've been BULLIED when told how to do their job:

Something strange is happening in Australian workplaces - even here in the NSW Parliament on Macquarie Street.

It is now classified as 'bullying' to tell an employee their work is not up to scratch and they need to improve. It is now regarded as 'harassment' for a boss to lose their temper and blow up in reaction to staff incompetence.

It is now so touchy-feely that no staff meetings can be held before 10am, when everyone has completed their 'carer responsibilities' for the morning.

The younger generation has responded to these entitlements with a 'you can't talk to me like that' view of their employer.

Consultants are everywhere conducting workplace reviews that encourage and enable staff to be snowflakes, perpetually offended, upset and complaining.

In the NSW Parliament, the recent Workplace Review has cost a small fortune in taxpayers' money, even though, in establishing the process, no specific problems were identified in our building.

Emails were sent to staff in our One Nation office but none saw the need to participate in the consultant's review.

Ironically, one received so many emails he felt bullied to participate.

I thought the review was a waste of money with an entirely predictable pre-scripted outcome, so I never agreed to be interviewed. I'm interested in solving real problems in NSW, not ones invented by Snowflake Lefties.

Every MP should be responsible for their own office and staff – that is why we elected them. Instead, the new trend is to establish special Complaints Officers (as they now have in Macquarie Street) to add to the culture of complaint and dobbing.

The Parliamentary Workplace Review is being released on Friday, and undoubtedly it will make findings of a 'toxic culture' and recommend that everyone go on training courses (run by other consultants at further taxpayer expense).

I don't see it myself.

Before getting into parliament, I worked as a staffer for two fairly volatile politicians: Bob Carr and Gough Whitlam.

Gough would explode like a volcano, his body shaking, his teeth grinding with anger. But a few minutes later he would come around to my desk and say, 'What are you working on now, comrade?' and give me a friendly hug.

I took this to be his way of letting off steam. Busy people in public life who work hard, come under pressure and expect perfection in their work standards, are likely to go off when things go wrong.

I never thought for a moment Whitlam was disrespecting or harassing me. A mature, sensible worker would immediately know that.

Ultimately, taking offence is a choice, and I chose never to be offended. I recommend this for the younger Snowflake Generation: to take a teaspoon of cement and harden up.

Most of all, I worry that the woke 'respect at work' agenda is diminishing our standards and performance as a nation.

If incompetent staff are allowed to survive without anyone being allowed to point out their failings, then many more businesses are going to go broke, many more governments are going to mess up public policy and many more public agencies are going to be out-of-touch and incapable of meeting community needs.




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