Inside the mind of an incel
The story below is rather confused about the direction of the causal arrow. Do people who are depressed become incels or do incels become depressed? I am inclined to suspect that many incels are not too different psychologically but become disturbed and dysfunctional as a result of their inability to attract women. If that is so, there is a clear need for counselling and life lessons that would improve their attractivesness to women.
I have put up previously (e.g. here) stories about how many women these days find great fault with most of the men they meet -- and the women remain unattached because of that. "The men are no good" is an often expressed complaint. So it seems clear that many men are doomed to remain lonely. Many really are rejected by women. So men who have no success with women at all could well develop the negative feelings that we see in incels.
A major issue is physical attractiveness. That can be rather nebulous. Different women find different men physically attractive. But one near-certainty is that women like a tall, well-built man. As long as he is also reasonsbly polite, women will go for him. So incels will almost always be deficient in that regard or have seriously unattractive personalities, chief of which is egotism.
But most men are not tall, well-built and socially adept so is there any hope for the many leftovers? There is. I am in my 80th year and consequently am rather decayed in looks but I am still capable of attracting and relating well with quality women -- and I do. And I enjoy my times with women greatly.
So what saves me from being a decrepit incel in my old age? It's not looks. Women will forgive much in a good-looking man but that is no help to me
But if looks can attract and engender forgivesness of imperfections, so can personality. At attractive personality is nearly as helpful as good looks. What constitutes an attractive personality can vary but my particular asset is uncrushable self-confidence. As long as the confidence does not stray into egotism, a confident man is almost an essential for many women. It even makes life easy for an old wreck like me
There is no magic formula for an attractive personality but a man who conveys confidence, politeness and considerateness will be unlucky indeed if he remains an incel
Incels are usually clingy wannabe momma's boys, according to one of the first studies into the hate group.
Involuntary celibates — who advocate violence and rape against women — have been responsible for a growing number of terror attacks in recent years.
They make up a dark and depraved online community of young heterosexual men who blame society in women for their lack of romantic success.
Now researchers from the University of Rome have found similar personality traits that band members together.
Incels score highly for anxiety and paranoia, which may explain why they are distrustful of women and jealous of other men who have successful romances.
They also had higher depression scores, which may also lead to self-hatred, and suicidal and violent tendencies.
The researchers found incel members had a 'fearful attachment style', which includes being clingy or emotionally absent.
Their hatred of women and misogyny stems from a fear of trusting others and getting hurt, which may have arisen due to emotional neglect or abuse as a child, according to the study.
The team hope their findings and the scale can be used by doctors to identify people at risk of becoming incels.
In September, a self-described incel in Southern California was charged for a series of attacks on women using pepper-spray.
Alex Minassian killed 10 people with a van in Toronto in 2018, claiming it was a 'rebellion' which would 'force' women to have sex with men like him.
Elliot Rodgers, who killed six people in a gun and knife attack in California in 2014, posted a video shortly before his attack in which he complained about being a virgin at aged 22 and how he had never kissed a girl.
He also published an 141-page document going through his deep-rooted hatred of women, in which he said he could not understand why women would not want to have sex with him.
Mr Rodgers was never formally diagnosed with a mental illness.
A total of 770 men aged between 18 and 69 were given a set of questionnaires online identifying incel traits, depression and anxiety levels, attachment style and paranoia symptoms.
Incel attacks in the US
May 2020 - Incel gunman shot and wounded three people at a mall in Arizona while livestreaming the attack on Snapchat
February 2020 - A machete attack in a Toronto massage parlor became the first incident of alleged incel violence to be prosecuted as an act of terrorism
November 2018 - A gunman who posed as customer at a Tallahassee yoga studio killed two women and wounded five others.
He said he wanted to 'blow off' a woman's head and expressed other disturbing and misogynistic views four years ago on his YouTube channel.
April 2018 - A man used a van to kill 10 pedestrians in Toronto. He told police he belonged to an online community of sexually frustrated men, some of whom have plotted attacks on people who have sex.
The incel trait scale, developed by Dr Scaptura and Dr Boyle in 2019, includes factors such as confused, sad, fearful, excluded, weak and insecure.
Men who scored highly on the scale were more likely to also display paranoia, anxiety and depression.
Paranoia is an unjustified mistrust of people and can include unwarranted jealously.
In the case of incels, they are mistrustful of women specifically and jealous of other men who are successful in romantic relationships.
Depression and anxiety also contribute to an incel mindset, as both can cause diminished self-esteem and isolation.
Incels believe they are unable to attract women and will often retreat to online forums to discuss their unhappiness and frustration.
The researchers found that men who had a fearful attachment style were also more likely to score highly on incel traits.
On the other hand, those who had a secure attachment style scored lower in the questionnaire of incel traits.
Attachment styles are ways people behave in relationships with others and are based on the bond individuals had with their parents or primary caregiver while growing up.
A secure attachment style is when people feel protected by their parents, leading them to feel comfortable in relationships with others later in their life.
But if a child's primary caregiver is neglecting or unpredictable, the child can become needy as they work harder to get the attention they feel they are lacking.
When they become adults, children with a disorganized attachment have low self-esteem and an intense fear of rejection and abandonment, which is consistent with an incel attitude.
Boys may grow up resentful of women due to a lack of healthy relationships developed in childhood.
A caregiver might have behaved in a frightening way, including abuse towards the child.
Or they may have been inconsistent and unpredictable in their interactions with their offspring — being highly loving at times and then neglectful at others.
Boys can be left feeling unlovable and mistrustful that people will support and accept them.
The researchers concluded that paranoia and depressive-anxious symptoms play a 'pivotal role' in the incel attitude, and suggested that fearful attachment styles can contribute to a misogynic attitude.
Children may grow up resenting women if they feel their primary caregiver did not give them the love they needed, and may also leave them with a negative self-view.
The study was published in the The Journal of Sexual Medicine.
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Gender quotas are never the solution
‘To be judged on the content of our character and not the colour of our skin’ – that was one of the dreams of the great Martin Luther King Jr. We have progressed a great deal since MLK delivered his famous speech, yet in many respects, it seems we’ve made no progress at all – and ironically, the progressive-left is more often than not to blame.
So it was refreshing to observe last month that Australia’s shadow federal Treasurer Angus Taylor ruled-out gender quotas in the Liberal Party. There are some brilliant female MPs and senators in the party, and no doubt, there will be many more in years to come. But mandating quotas is antithetical to liberty and equality – at least the kind MLK envisioned. To progress as a society, we have to treat individuals equally and without any preferential treatment.
Still, some say we need quotas to stabilise and ‘even out’ the numbers in organisations and institutions. Here are three significant reasons why such arguments should be vehemently opposed:
Quotas can lead to resentment and self-doubt, as people question whether they earned their job or were hired simply to tick a box.
Consider this hypothetical example of Alice and Sarah. Alice is highly competent, she is well respected for her intellect, coupled with a powerful work ethic. She is promoted to a more senior role based upon her abilities. On the other hand, Sarah, although a valued employee, is not quite as efficient and effective in the workplace relative to Alice. However, it is decided by their workplace management that to fulfil quotas, Sarah will be elevated to the same seniority as Alice; despite having less experience and less suitability for the role. As one might expect, Alice is infuriated as this appears to her to conflict with the interests of true equality, for she has earned her position while Sarah is being promoted for management to tick a box (and meet their diversity and inclusion KPI’s). Why strive to work hard at all if that’s not what your boss is going to value?
Quotas may have a ‘gaslighting’ effect.
Following on from the first hypothetical example above, quotas may lead to uncertainty regarding whether one has rightfully earned their post. Sarah, while not being explicitly advised that she is being moved up the ranks to fill a quota, is suspicious of her promotion. While delighted on the one hand to take a pay rise; being highly self-aware, she also feels uncomfortable with the situation as she is unsure whether or not her performance has justified the outcome. Sarah overhears co-workers making snarky comments behind her back claiming she was only promoted to fill the new quota targets.
Naturally, self-consciousness and anxiety about her performance take hold. How can she take pride in her work when she’s unsure she’s earned her position? It is not fair to her, it is not fair to her co-workers, and it is not at all in the interest of equality more broadly.
They may lead to a lack of productivity.
A company’s number one priority must be turning a profit. Hiring based on identity is far less productive than hiring the best person for the job, whoever they may be. This is the essence of meritocracy: a system in which people are appointed to their posts based upon merit. In its true form, it looks beyond the race; religion; class; gender etc., of an individual, and focuses merely upon their competency to do a job effectively.
In summary, equality of opportunity is far more vital than equality of outcome. Thankfully, the National Party’s frontbench has demonstrated true egalitarian leadership by prioritising the former. You can have equal representation while retaining meritocracy. In the words of David Littleproud, the Nats’ 50/50 gender split is not because of any quota, it is ‘because of talent’ and ‘an environment whereby women are given the opportunity to stand up and feel encouraged to stand up’. Such an environment is both fair and diverse.
Angus Taylor made the right call. Women are equal with men and deserve to be treated as such. A quota undermines this and is insulting to competent women. Following the inspiration of MLK, let’s look not to gender quotas, but to character, and indeed, to competence.
https://spectator.com.au/2022/11/gender-quotas-are-never-the-solution/
*********************************************************Broadway’s Lion King interpreter fired for being white
A white sign-language interpreter booted from Broadway’s Lion King for his skin colour quietly settled his federal discrimination case against the theatre company that fired him, the NY Post has learned.
Keith Wann and the Theatre Development Fund — a non-profit that provides ASL interpreters at Broadway shows — resolved the dispute outside of court just two weeks after Wann filed his lawsuit and The Post published a front-page report.
“The matter between myself and TDF has been resolved and both parties are satisfied with the discussions that ensued,” Wann wrote in a social media post announcing the settlement.
“I look forward to the review of the process that will come from this to hopefully benefit the interpreting profession.”
Wann filed the lawsuit on November 8 after he and another interpreter, Christina Mosleh, were told to back out of the production in April so they could be replaced by black sign-language experts, according to the suit and emails obtained by The Post.
“Keith Wann, though an amazing ASL performer, is not a black person and therefore should not be representing Lion King,” Shelly Guy, the director of ASL for The Lion King, told Lisa Carling, the director of the Theatre Development Fund’s accessibility programs, in an email.
Wann’s decision to take the case up in court was met with online backlash from the deaf community.
“You disgusted me,” Randy Spann, host of the deaf talk show The Real Talk with Randy, said in video response to Wann’s lawsuit. “Enough is enough. Let black people get their opportunities to get a spotlight.”
In a viral TikTok video, deaf performer Raven Sutton blasted Wann for his decision to sue the theatre group. “This is not discrimination,” Sutton signed on the video that amassed over 57,000 views. “Reverse racism is not a thing. Stop taking all the jobs when we have black interpreters that are the better fit. Wipe your own white tears because we are not going to do it for you.”
Many Post readers and others in the deaf community came out in force to support Wann and condemn the outrage he faced.
“I’m baffled by the hate,” Jared Allebest, a deaf civil rights attorney, told The Post. “There are some people justifying why they don’t support him through the lens of racial identity politics.”
In Wann’s statement this week, the interpreter addressed the criticism he faced online and the debates his lawsuit spawned.
“Over the last week I have seen a lot of pain in our community and have also seen some much-needed conversations,” Wann wrote. “It is unfortunate that assumptions were made, and conclusions were drawn without all the facts.”
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A Tasmanian tribunal has rejected the right of same-sex attracted people to hold social functions that exclude transgender people
This gets crazier and crazier
Launceston lesbian activist Jessica Hoyle had sought an exemption from Tasmania’s Anti-Discrimination Act to run female-only “drag-king” shows and other lesbian events.
The exemption was denied by Tasmania’s Anti-Discrimination Commissioner Sarah Bolt in July 2021, prompting Miss Hoyle to appeal to the Tasmanian Civil and Administrative Tribunal.
In a ruling late last week circulated on Monday, the tribunal rejected Miss Hoyle’s appeal, finding the desire for female-only lesbian events was insufficient justification for an exemption.
“While the applicants may not wish to comply with the Act and find aspects of its application to transgender and transsexual women irksome, particularly in the context of the event they would like to hold, that is not a sufficient justification,” ruled tribunal member Kate Cuthbertson.
Ms Cuthbertson SC said arguments by Miss Hoyle claiming “patterns of criminality and nefarious motivations” for transwomen attending female-only events were “not supported by empirical research or compelling evidence”.
Miss Hoyle told The Australian she was disappointed in the decision and would fight on, if necessary all the way to the High Court, believing same-sex attracted females should be able to exclude “people with penises” from social events.
“This decision erases the rights of women and freedom of association for lesbians,” said Miss Hoyle. “It is harmful to everyday, average lesbian women and gay men, who just want to be able to meet one another in a safe environment, and not have members of the opposite sex harass us.
“I’m all for transgenders and transsexuals having their own events, their own spaces, but (they ought) not force themselves on to anybody else’s rights. We are seeing in this country the erasure of women’s rights.”
However, Rose Boccalatte, of Equality Tasmania, welcomed the tribunal ruling. “This decision upholds the integrity of our gold-standard Anti-Discrimination Act and sends the message that trans and gender diverse people are equally protected by that Act,“ Ms Boccalatte said.
“It is very welcome to see the tribunal calling out misinformation about transgender women.”
Miss Hoyle said she was seeking further legal advice but was likely to reapply for an exemption taking into account aspects of the tribunal decision.
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My other blogs. Main ones below:
http://dissectleft.blogspot.com (DISSECTING LEFTISM)
http://edwatch.blogspot.com (EDUCATION WATCH)
http://antigreen.blogspot.com (GREENIE WATCH)
http://australian-politics.blogspot.com (AUSTRALIAN POLITICS)
http://snorphty.blogspot.com/ (TONGUE-TIED)
http://jonjayray.com/blogall.html More blogs
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Kristina Pimenova, once said to be the most beautiful girl in the world. Note blue eyes and blonde hair
Bliss: What every woman wants: to feel safe and secure in the arms of her man. Robert Irwin and Rorie Buckey. See 
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