Wednesday, April 02, 2003

ANOTHER GOOD SPOOF

Scientific and Technical University for Politically Intelligent Development

As of August 1, 2000, we have become the first university to ban all major forms of intolerance, including racial intolerance, gender intolerance, religious intolerance, and lactose intolerance. Violators are instantly expelled with no appeal.

We are an equal opportunity university specializing in higher-order thinking skills that provide students with raised consciousness, empowerment, and self-esteem. We are especially proud of our inclusionary policies which empower all members of society, regardless of differences in ability and background. For example, we were the first university in North America to ensure that every traffic sign on campus was not only printed in at least 5 languages, but is also marked in Braille. We are proud of our diversity and require gender and ethnic diversity from every student. All students accepted to S.T.U.P.I.D. are guaranteed passing grades and a successful graduation as a right. All students applying to S.T.U.P.I.D. are guaranteed admittance as long as our modest tuition requirements and entrance fees are paid - and we work hard to help students get the federal and state grants they deserve to attend our university. Competition is out - all classes operate on the principles of cooperative learning, self-directed learning, learning-to-learn, and active nurturing. This is facilitated by our well supplied computer and multimedia labs, now with Super Sega CD and Enhanced Super Nintendo. S.T.U.P.I.D. - the ultimate adventure in modern education. Funding for S.T.U.P.I.D. is generously provided by the taxpayers of the United States ..............

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