Friday, August 18, 2006

PC Defined

(A fantasy by Paul Prete [])

In California a food company institutes a new PC policy; no hugging or touching of any kind. Reason; if you hug someone & another person sees the hug and doesn't get one. The hug-less person could sue for discrimination.

Very few individuals are privy to the inner machinations of "Political Correctness" some consider an enigma. Supreme directives on restrictions on "Freedom of Speech" come directly from "The Politically Correct Council of Nine." This clandestine council meets in an underground vessel of indeterminate size and origin two miles below the surface of the earth near the desert community of Yucca Flats, New Mexico.

The council sends envoys to insane asylums in search of three of the most deranged inmates on the planet. Once chosen this "Troika" is summoned to council chambers where "The Benevolent Guild of Elders" runs through an exhausting series of words taken directly from an "Oxford English dictionary."

The Troika's mission is daunting and considered by many an almost impossible premise to wrap your mind around. It is a quest that can only a finite equation upon the scope and future usage of the English language. These ambassadors are implored to define what's offensive, concerning words whose usage...could impinge upon the sensibilities of two or more individuals that are known to frequent health food stores. (Commonly known as Hyper-Anal Sentient Beings) or (The Organic League of Chronic Whiners.)

Due to a genetic abnormality at birth "The Organic League of Chronic Whiners are in every sense of the word..........born dead to passion, spontaneity and sense of humor. This group adorns itself in 15th Century Bolivian peasant attire, donning tiny baskets strapped to their heads while chanting "I am a vegetarian; therefore I live in a vegetative state." (It is not known why they do this; there has been supposition to suggest that the baskets may ward against demons from entering the cranial cavity; and hence creating havoc from within.)

These primitives utilize the ancient ways (Alchemy) to unearth the secrets of human flight with potions. In a ritual known as "Unborn Feathers" many will coat their bodies in candle wax and herbs in a desperate attempt to grow wings. Subsequently a vast majority suffer catastrophic injures whilst they attempt the symbolic "Flight of the Wrens" off of barns and a variety of perches in their unrelenting quest to soar the heavens.

These individuals appear to thrive in "child like endeavors" such as stringing colorful beads onto pieces of string, weaving baskets and anything related to crystals. The organic league/Hyper Anal; find solace in beating on the skins of animals.

The Innermost Workings of Political Correctness:

"The Politically Correct Council of Nine" issues a decree summoning the members to the "Great Hall." The enormity of the task awaiting the three members of the Troika cannot be understated. The audience is seated in close proximity to the Troika as "The Reading of The Words" begins.

The Troika (strapped to chairs) can instantaneously spot words that can have.."Complicated nuanced implications"..and will repeat said words aloud; evoking wailing and shrieking from members of the audience. (Many faint upon hearing the now Politically Incorrect.revolting words of the unenlightened.") Once a series of words are chosen they are rendered verboten and stricken from the English language; never to see the light of day again.

The tension in the chambers can be unbearable as thousands assemble during the summer solstice to gaze upon the turbulent, gut-wrenching ritual known as "Expulsion" in which page after page of an "Oxford Dictionary" is violently torn from its bindings....shredded and then cast into a funeral pyre. In a finale known as "Revulsion" goat blood is poured onto a Gutenberg press which is pounded into submission with Ball-pein hammers.

At the end of the ceremony the general assembly is permanently silenced with leather restraints (modified dog muzzles) for the remainder of their natural born lives. This is to ensure that no verbal transgressions ever take place within the general population estimated in to over one hundred and fifty million strong. All communications hereafter are accomplished by scribbling on minute scraps of parchment.

On occasion members of "The Triad of Instability" as they are fondly known...go off into a delusional rant that can last for days on end. During the impending chaos, hemp bindings are utilized to prevent fingers or tongues from beings severed. The painful ritual of waiting for the rant to subside is the closest thing to a religious experience the guild will ever visit.

Recently a series of mass suicides resulted from a devastating decision by the Troika to have the phrase "I Love You" stricken from the annals of human recorded history. The words are now considered "Politically Incorrect."

In a stunning unprecedented move members of "The Hyper-Anal/ Sentient Beings. brought a plethora of depositions to argue their case in front of the "Supreme Ruling Body" in the covenant. "The Politically Correct Council of Nine." Seven months passed before the Council responded to the petition. They finally issued a rambling edict that encompassed the basic tenets on Politically Correctness ...suppression of Free Speech and or any speech or thoughts (Orwellian thought crimes) that may be construed as having an independent thought process. For those "Who have the Audacity to Think for Themselves."

The Council of Nine's interpretation of the Troika decision is as Follows:

"The words.."I Love You"... if spoken in a crowd to another single individual are exclusionary by nature..and may cause profound emotional upheaval for those within earshot who may be forced to relive painful relationships gone astray in the past."

Those who break the covenants of the council of nine by misspeaking (removing said restraints) are subject to "Mind Washing" and or shunning by the guild community and blessed with the burden of a "Scarlet Letter" of contrition emblazoned with the words...."To Think is to Sin" for the rest of their natural lives. (In rare cases where mind washing isn't effective the vocal cords are surgically removed)

Rather than break the covenants..three hundred and forty seven thousand guild members committed suicide in Manhattan, Los Angeles, San Francisco, New England, California and Asheville, North Carolina.

A Recurring Nightmare....I have had for the past 2 months.

I'm in downtown Asheville, N.C (I reside in the area) but the town is strangely different and has the look and feel of Berlin in the late 1930's. I notice numerous shops dripping in blood with a red letter J painted across the facades. On the ground are what appear to be severed arms used as paintbrushes.

As I travel on foot up to the center of town everyone I come across has duct tape over their mouths including me. I finally reach the city plaza where the library is ablaze as.....thousands of Hippies are Burning Books. I push my way through the crowd; reach into a smoldering blaze and retrieve a charred remnant..only to realize it's what's left of a history book.

I remove the tape and ask the crowd "Why are we burning history books." The throng rushes towards me slapping another piece over my a giant Shrink-Wrap Machine rolls me into a cocoon..and deposits me onto the side of a very tall building. I'm now thirty stories up dangling in the air. The last thing I remember is looking out over the skyline expecting to see thousands of cocoon' my shock and dismay..........I am the only one.

("Patterning your life around other's opinions is nothing more than slavery." Lawana Blackwell)


Neville Chamberlain flew to Munich to see Adolf Hitler, Walter Winchell observed in 1938, "because you can't lick a man's boots over the phone." Why did Mike Wallace fly to Tehran? Wallace's bio at the CBS website lauds his "no-holds-barred interviewing technique," but there was little evidence of that on Sunday, when "60 Minutes" aired his interview with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, president of the virulent Iranian theocracy that is the world's most active sponsor of jihadist terror.

Time and again Wallace let Ahmadinejad brush him off with inanities and lies he would have pounced on had they been uttered by a business executive or an American politician. When Wallace asked, for example, why Iranian Revolutionary Guards are helping terrorists in Iraq kill US soldiers, Ahmadinejad's non-reply was that the Americans shouldn't be in Iraq, since it is "a civilized nation with a long history of civilization." When Wallace didn't press for an answer to his question, Ahmadinejad flung it back at him. "According to international laws," he said, Iraqi security is the responsibility of "the occupation" -- that is, the US military. "Why are *they* not providing security?" Flummoxed, perhaps, by such Alice-in-Wonderland logic, Wallace dropped the subject.

And that, more or less, was the story of the interview. Wallace would pose a question, Ahmadinejad would swat it away with a preposterous retort, and Wallace would move on to something else. Asked about the thousands of artillery rockets provided to Hezbollah by Iran, Ahmadinejad sneered: "Are you the representative of the Zionist regime or a journalist?" Confronted with Iran's pursuit of nuclear weapons, he declared that President Bush and his supporters want to monopolize energy resources and "line their own pockets." You're a bigot who despises "the Zionists," Wallace challenged him. Not at all, said the man who wants Israel wiped off the map, I merely despise "heinous action."

For some reason, Wallace neglected to ask Ahmadinejad about Iran's brutal treatment of political dissidents. Or about the scores of anti-government demonstrations that have taken place across the country. Or about the 18-year trail of false reports Iran filed to the International Atomic Energy Agency. Or about allegations by former American diplomats that Ahmadinejad took part in the 1979 seizure of the US embassy in Tehran. Or about the ballistic missiles flaunted in Iranian military parades with banners reading "Death to America" and "We will trample America under our feet."

Fawning over despots is something of an old habit with Wallace. His "60 Minutes" whitewash of the late Syrian tyrant Hafez Assad in 1975 so pleased the Damascus regime that years later the Syrian embassy in Washington was still distributing transcripts of the program. In 1990, as the Soviet Union was coming unraveled, Wallace assured his viewers that many Soviets "look back almost longingly to the era of brutal order under Stalin." Writing in Commentary the following year, David Bar-Illan described an obsequious Wallace interview with Yasser Arafat: "Had he treated American ... politicians this way, he would have been drummed out of the profession."

No danger of that. Wallace told the Boston Globe last December that if he could go one-on-one with Bush, he would ask him how someone so "incurious" could be suited for the presidency and whether his election "has anything to do with the fact that the country is so [expletive] up." A pity, Wallace must think, that America's president isn't more like Iran's -- that "rather attractive man," as he gushed about the world's leading Holocaust denier last week, "very smart, savvy, self-assured, good looking in a strange way ... infinitely more rational than I had expected him to be."

More here

Australian blacks get private property rights

To the fury of Leftists

Three decades of watertight Aboriginal land rights ended in the Federal Senate yesterday in a revolution expected to impact on Queensland indigenous communities. Northern Territory Aborigines will now be permitted to "sell" off entire townships on 99-year leases after the overhaul of the historic NT Aboriginal Land Rights Act introduced by former prime minister Gough Whitlam. The new regime is designed to kick start an enterprise culture in Aboriginal communities and may pave the way for the Queensland Government to introduce similar measures.

But James Ensor from global community aid organisation Oxfam has described the legislation as "deeply unpleasant". And the Federal Opposition said it displayed a fundamental lack of respect for Aborigines and their property rights.

Queensland Aboriginal Affairs Minister John Mickel said he wanted to look at the new federal laws more closely before commenting. However, both Mr Mickel and Premier Peter Beattie supported Aboriginal activist Noel Pearson's calls for more private land ownership among Aborigines as the path to economic empowerment.

The laws, still subject to minor amendment, allow NT Aborigines to lease parcels of land to an NT Government entity which in turn can sub-lease the land to others. Federal Aboriginal Affairs Minister Mal Brough says the laws are voluntary. But critics fear land grabs by developers and bribery by governments who could demand a lease in exchange for essential services.

Australians for Native Title and Reconciliation fear a precedent has been set for states to follow. "The real difference between these laws and the laws of the past 30 years is that NT Aborigines do not support them," a spokesman said. Labor's Indigenous Affairs spokesman Chris Evans said the Government had displayed a fundamental lack of respect for traditional land owners.


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